You are forever mine

He will my shield and portion be
as long as life endures

One cries "I want God more than I need answers."

If a desperate heart is what it takes, then a desperate heart it shall be :)

Went for a picnic today, though somewhere along the lines the actual picnic was unraveling at the seams-so different to how i had envisioned it in my head (of all days today was MEGA windy -.-).

Yet somehow in the little nooks and crevasses of our conversations, we tucked ourselves away in the layers of our sharing. It was comforting to have a shoulder to lean on; but more than that, to see the immense growth, maturity & love of someone I've come to hold so dear to me, sends my heart into mini-palpitations of joy :)

Hey boy, I'm so extremely proud of you. :)

More importantly, He is absolutely beaming with joy!

MMMMMMM GOOD THINGS TO COME! :) can't wait for catch up week next week man. oh, & studies haha.

Hold my heart

I'll be by your side, whenever you fall
in the dead of night, whenever you call

When will i ever learn.

At this point, it just seems inevitable that history in all it's recurring futility is somehow doomed to repeat itself. If only divulging all my pocketbook secrets were as easy as heaving an exasperating sigh; swoosh in one swift motion, into the atmosphere & blending together with the rest of the world's untold stories.

Note to self: let's keep moving forward okay? Eyes ahead, shoulders back, & smile. Never look back.

I've got the weight of the world on my shoulders, but I've got the sun in my hand.

no body's perfect

in the quiet, in the stillness I know,
that you are God

It's only by delving deep enough into the OT that I suddenly realized, scattered throughout history were men & women of incredible faith, yet that didn't exclude them from experiencing anguish, pain & countless other woe-is-me moments.

As i sat cross legged on my bed and pored through the pages of the books, I'm infiltrated by sudden invasions of warmth that travel the length of my body. and then i realize, that i feel a strange sort of kinship with the different people in the bible.

i mean, granted most of them were written in a somewhat more dramatic fashion, but can relate lah you know.

sometimes i toy with the fringes of my imagination and wonder if my dreams were big enough, that they would take flight and soar, the enormity of it too much for my shell to contain. it would unfold in a kaleidoscope of colors and unfurl itself in clouds of smoke.

i'm beginning to enjoy my quiet nights in :)

It's a drag having to churn out titles

together we'll dance
to sepia tone hues

Ross: "Hey, do you guys know a Carl?"

Chandler: "Hm let's see..Alvin, Simon, Theodore...Nope, don't think so."

:)

it's the familiarity of dialogues and sounds that gently rocks me into peaceful slumber. in an alternate reality where dreams elude me, i sometimes discover that possibilities orbit all around me.

mm lovingly ensconced in my duvet has definitely ignited my penchant for snugness and warmth.

Get up on your feet and praise Him

i wonder what it's like,
to have you next to me

i never really quite know what to blog about anymore these days. words are no longer as candid as they used to be, and there always feels like there's a cloak of self-consciousness draped loosely around the frames of my writing. more often than not, words are backspaced and deleted from existence, then a brief cryptic coupla phrases are churned out simply to decorate the void.

i've hit a little more than a few bumps than i would have liked along this journey, but what a ride it's been :)

there's something potentially life-changing about learning to receive grace and embrace humility; & also pushing against the stream of hardhitting blows life tosses at you, if only to be rooted firmly in the joyful abundance of Him :)

i think im ready for the dry season to be over.

i think i'm ready to be inspired.

beautiful beginnings

can't you feel my heart beat fast,
i want this to last:]

The arm's of my Savior

there's no other place,
that i'd rather be

Hey Dad,

Help. :'( It hurts...everywhere.

I can feel it in the little fragments of my bones; the way my whole my body shivers and trembles and how my head is leaden with weight. My eyes are so swollen I feel like I'm squinting perpetually. My toes have surpassed the point of no return and I can barely feel them, every now and then I look (well, squint) down just to check that they're still there and haven't fallen off.

Most of all, I feel pain, darting in every single direction and scorching every available surface of my heart.

But I also thank You for sisters, who graciously allow me to stumble into her room and into her arms just to sob relentlessly.

thank You for friends who stay up with me comforting, consoling, advising and humoring me until I feel like my air supply is not forcing itself out in restricted gasping intakes of breath.

Dad, it hurts. So much.

But thank You nonetheless.

whatever happens, I will strive to find the rainbow in the rain.