note: I'm hungry for you ; dont pass me by
this is going to be a slightly longer post because a couple of stuff happened over the weeked.
*saturday: watched Stomp The Yard with lynn. two thumbs & toes way up : ) superb. oh and i finally got to satisfy my craving for Waffle World. met up with adam anis baiti aishah & the rest later on. my day did not end well.
thus finally that very night i cracked while vainly trying to take my mind off things with sejarah notes ; yes what was i thinking. see this is where God sends friends in to rescue. muzzie called & we talked till it was about 12. thank you for lending me your ear <3
*sunday: new church, yay! i loveee it, the place is small, or 'cosy' as dad likes to call it, but its fresh & new, the start of a new beginning. i think my pastor was a wee bit high though because he kept forcing the congregation to laugh, i think he wanted the endorphins to rush to our heads and increase our lives for 3 more days (thats what he told us) call me sceptical but i didnt really buy it, it did however, cost me an aching jaw and a tummy ache. laughing is good (:
the fundamental core of this post however, is my personal struggle with my relationship with God. There were so many signs but i guess i was so determined at being ignorant, i failed to notice them. All this while ive been making excuses, when the truth is i have no excuses. its sad to see how much time ive wasted ; but i know He'll forgive. & all this time ive been wondering what was missing, when i had the answer there all along.
on a more personal note: im sorry Lord, im sorry for causing you all the pain & heartache. im sorry for being disobedient & ignorant. above all, im truly sorry i chose not to listen to you, and im sorry i made you sad. there are a million things i wish to apologize for, but you already know what they are. Forgive me, and please let this be MY new beginning..with you. I love you.
ive come to realize that the reason why God puts us through difficulties & pain, is so that every once in awhile, we would look to Him for help, and not just rely on our own strength. It is because He needs us, just as much as we need Him. It's because he wants to show us He loves us, and that He will carry us whenever we need Him to.
1 comment:
wow. my dear, im so proud of you, of how far you've come. i guess sometimes, we become so high and mighty in ourselves that when we suddenly realise God's missing, we FALL HARD ON OUR KNEES. but dont worry its a good thing, and this is going to be JUST the begining of what He wants to accomplish in your life, and im SO EXCITED!
i'll be praying for u dear. and i LOVE YOU SO MUCH. muacks.
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