A broken heart

I think, in the face of pain and indecision, all I can really do is just curl up in bed, under the sheets, close my eyes and just hope that in the next moment I wake up, the world will seem a little less dark.

Argh really want to get out of Melbourne, at least for a little while. Where's a plane ticket when you need one.

Think it's time to start running back to the cross. I just hope, I'm not too late.

love, the future

i will see the season through,
i will fix my eyes on You

I want to travel.

I really do. Though I wonder if I ever really will. You know, actually stop wishing and talking about all these festering dreams and desires and just DO IT. GO. GET. What's stopping me from walking out to STA travel and booking a flight?

I wonder.

I don't just want to travel though, I feel like, I want to experience more things, to explore. To have the courage (well, okay and I guess to a certain extent the stamina) to push myself out of my comfortable, predictable little bubble into a place that'll really challenge me to be braver, wiser, better.

Then again, this could all just be another one of those wistful 'I wish' & 'If only' posts. Because there's a part of me that really likes my bubble. I like being comfortable and knowing what I'll have for breakfast (okay fine, lunch) the next day or what classes I'm going to and WHERE. there's always this crippling fear that my useless no-sense of direction will leave me abandoned in the middle of nowhere one day.

Life can be so conflicting sometimes. But I'm really blessed to have options, and for that I'm grateful.

Pensive thoughts

More than the air I breathe, more than the song I sing
more than the next heartbeat, more than anything

Wow, I have unknowingly taken a four month hiatus from writing. It wasn't until recently that I can successfully say I've finished, and by finish I mean thoroughly and completely, reading Eat, Pray, Love. That's probably an understatement, I practically devoured the book over the course of four (late) nights. Such a shame, I know, for someone who claims to love books and reading, I've got a growing stack of unread/partially-read books patiently sitting on my table. I SHALL VOW TO FINISH THEM ALL (before I start spoiling myself with new ones). I'm currently on my second attempt at finishing Lisa Bevere's 'Fight like a Girl'. I'm only on my 25th page, but already I'm feeling empowered and ready to CONQUER THE WORLD. It's like nourishment for the feminine soul :)

A note on Eat Pray Love-I found it truly inspiring on so many levels, which probably explained why I sacrificed precious sleep, eagerly flipping the pages till the early hours of the morning. Perhaps what spoke volumes to me was her struggle to find contentment and peace in a truly chaotic and static-y world. I mean, surely we can all relate to that at some point in our lives? And it is only when she had learned to break away from the white noise and allowed herself to experience God wholeheartedly could she mend the broken-ness, hurt and resentment, and find joy.

I'd definitely buy this as a gift for a girlfriend of mine :)

After two whole weeks of company and bliss of having mum around, she finally packed her bags, gave us tight hugs and with tears in her eyes promised we'd see each other again soon. And we will, I know we will. Yet the silence still echoes in our small apartment, and I know I'm going to miss her rummaging around in the kitchen early in the morning, hearing her voice (though with nagging undertones urging me to wake up), and just..her. I'm just going to miss her.

The thing is, no matter how many times a loved one visits, for however long, it is always hard to say goodbye. Goodbyes are tough-often bittersweet and tinged with the hopefulness of when we would reunite. But I've been so blessed with the most amazing mother, the most amazing family. And it's quiet times like these when I'm feeling all weepy, nostalgic and introspective, that I offer up a prayer of gratitude, for blessing me with the abundance of a loving mom, dad and sister.

And for now, at least for this moment, I have found my contentment in them-my 'ohana' :)

I guess the change in my pocket just wasn't enough

just a spoonful of sugar

makes the medicine go down

photobooth is so much fun :) i'm buzzed i finally got my instax mini up and running and working properly. time to capture them happy moments.

i'm temporarily out-of-order in terms of words-i forget how to write :( but nehmind i'm still getting my head around final year even though we're already 3 weeks in. bronchitis can do that to you i guess.

also, my heart is still slowly breaking for Japan, New Zealand and the homefront still recovering from the floods. just another 'why' to add to the growing list i'll probably never get answers to.