dead weight

one step at a
time

uni is not for the faint hearted.

perhaps once this initial hurdle is over, things will get better :) fingers crossed.

honestly, its so easy to slip into my shell of self pity and allow all negative emotions to awash over me. old habits die hard. but im reminded of what Morrie said, once you have experienced a certain emotion, embrace it entirely, and then learn to step away from it.

have a good cry, then step back. :) learn to dissociate yourself.

also, the Footprints frame on my table is a constant companion; im not alone.

exhausted drained socially recluse and confused, very much so.

giving up? not yet :) im hanging by a thread but im not letting go.

ps: im sorry if i havent seen or spoken to most if not all of you in awhile, transitioning is really taking its toll on me. i hope you guys understand. xx

release, breathe

im carried to the table
the table of the Lord

you know that warm feeling you get in the pit of your stomach, the one that makes you feel like your entire aura is emitting a funny kind of glow? where your entire being just feels so relaxed you want to take a moment just to savor it that little bit longer?

that's happiness (:

i had an absolute blast at homecell. :) great food, awesome games & most importantly legendary company. i enjoyed every moment of it, from scraping the cheese & bacon off the mushroom and giving it to jon, from experimenting shots with josh's SLR, from squirming and laughing and critiquing chick flicks, right down to the whole "traffic essay" moment.

LEGENDARY. :)

yes, uni and it's insermountable pile of work still exists. yes, i have not completed any of them. yes, i am about a month behind on my lecture readings.

but right now, it doesn't matter. because i am happy to the core. :) there's no rain on my parade! i love my cell :))

will update on the 19th birthday and everything else sooon! <3 hopefully after ive completed all the workwork!

KISS.

nothing's gonna stop me
but divine intervention

i just typed out a lengthy post for it to just disappear.

its now 12.27am, and im really tired and frustrated.

in short- i love: God, family, friends, OCF, cell. :) my 1500 word post just shrunk to five words.

such is life :) i'll just post up some pictures and update later. or never. heh.

(:

broken strings

you can't play on broken strings
you can't feel anything

I love, J's :) James Morrison, Jason Mraz and Lenka. She qualifies because shes exceptionallyawesome.

so second week of uni was better than first. it's interesting what a shove out of your comfort zone can lead to. granted, i am quite possibly more confused than when i first started out, but i'm not alone in this, which makes this journey alot less intimidating :)

today i went waxing with my sheester and tracylei :) FUN! hardly any pain. and now it's all smoooooth and silkeh. maybe not silky, but SMOOTH. and most importantly, hairless. i now bear less resemblance to an orang utan so hallelujah.

oh, and i love my cell (: very much.

there's too many things going on, my brain can't absorp everything at once. i'm still trying to figure out what balance sheets are. -.- i simply can't be bothered with anything that is not of priority anymore. very cynical i know, but if i try to cope with everything at once, i will combust. my brain is pea-sized.

so here are the priorities: God. Studies.

that's it. :) the rest can take care of itself. these burdens are no longer mine to carry so adios ambre!

im starting to get homesick all over again. stupid nostalgia.

it comes & goes

girl put your records on
tell me your favorite song

uni, or more precisely commerce, is a minefield. i have no idea what im doing.

to quote a friend, i have never been more confused in my life.

what in hitler's name are balance sheets?

im confused.

Surrender

i called, you answered
and you came to my rescue

you never disappoint.
you never stop loving.
you never stop listening
you never stop blessing.

but i need to stop, reflect. and reevaluate everything. because what used to be important now no longer matters. not even a little.

thank you God. (: for absolutely everything.

two halves of a whole.