I'll stand by you

throw it away, forget yesterday
we'll make the great escape

I sincerely believe that there is a time & season for everything; God and His divine inexplicable timing often don't coincide with the arrangements we plan ourselves, but when they do, it takes your breath away.

This mini trip was one of those times. Although I wasn't physically or mentally struggling with anything, somehow I felt like I needed to get away from the high-rise buildings, congestion & lack of greenery of the city & escape somewhere quiet. In the outskirts of the suburbs area where your thoughts are free to escape the confines of your mind & roam the lush green forest, or when you feel your every knot & tension just slip away when you stand, very quietly, in the middle of the dark & star gaze at the vast velvet sky.

So I thank you God, for blessing me with amazing friends, for keeping me & my family safe; & most of all because even when we struggle to comprehend it, your timing is always perfect.

A quick synopsis of our great escape:

A drove us down to her place in Ringwood, gorgeous secluded area, plenty of trees, hidden away from the bustling streets. You would never run out of oxygen there! Took a long drive out to scout for V's place, overshot our mark, retraced & surprised her at her place. Had a mini photoshoot outback in the garden & played Wii fit! I hope i lost some weight, heh. :) good fun though!

Joined her lovely family for yummy pizzas. Did you know you could have desserts on a pizza? :) If you didn't make sure you try! Spent the night curled up on the couch watching the season finale of Greys, Dan in real life & Beauty & the Beast! Oh was so swept away by the lyrics in the songs (now that I'm actually old enough to understand the words).

Next morning woke up, had breakfast then took a short drive up to a scenic place, something beginning with a W but i can't place the name. Short term memory -.- Anyway had a nice long walk and then A drove me back up to the city.

A short but nonetheless much needed get away, I feel very much refreshed now :)

(: <3

The same deep water as you

lost & insecure,
you found me.

Walking amidst a sea of faceless pedestrians, there is a dull thudding at the back of my head. I could paint the features of the strangers around me in my dreams, yet I recognized not one soul. There is a velvet cloak shielding the sun; ominous bank of dark clouds greeted the eye.

There is a boy yielding a gun. Misfit or misunderstood?
There is a kleptomaniac who owns five estates. Living or lacking?
There is an anorexic, there is an obese. There is a beggar, there is an entrepreneur. There is death, there is life.

Could you change something if you had the chance? I'd like to entertain the thought that is, more importantly, would you?

Some people don't change, but i think it's not that they can't, but rather they wont. You could know a person your entire life, & not know them at all. Love is not love if there are conditions.

Yes, I could paint the features of the people around me in my dreams, but not recognize a single soul.

the wind that blew my heart away

you're so sweet, & you're so smart
you're such a good friend i have to break your heart

they say you should never sell yourself short.

"I'm not that kind of guy. And I don't want to be. So maybe the elite girls just aren't for me. But some day I'm gonna meet a girl, who will really love me. Maybe she won't be what you call hot, but to me she'll be beautiful, & I'll tell her so. I don't want to be mean to her, or have to play games with her. I'll just be the guy she can always count on, & that'll be enough. She'll be elite..to me." -M.M.

Because maybe I just needed another fabrication to tell me that despite what everyone thinks, I believe the world still holds some truth, & just maybe not everything is as bleak as it seems.

"The truth is, there is nothing to be afraid of. It's just life." E.S.

Its.
Just.
Life.
:)

oh weary soul

the heaven's shall declare
the glory of, our Great God

I've probably conjured up one too many posts in my head, about MJ's death, about results, about winter, about mum's trip here, about falling sick. I've had so much I wanted to say, in this tiny space, with the words I would weave to form a story.

But honestly I'm tired. Not just physically and that the flu meds are probably kicking in, but tired of, just settling. Sometimes I wish things were different; I wish I had stepped out of my self-moulded contented shell and grabbed a slice of the world when I could. I still can, then I would wish I had the guts & integrity to do so.

I spend half of my life, literally, wishing for thing's I dont have.

Here, at 12.38am, I'm writing about what matters to me. We only get one shot at this, at life. No do-overs, no summer school; just the years you have to live, & the memories you have to create. George Bernard Shaw once wrote that the two greatest tragedies in life is this: one is to lose your heart's desire, & the other is to gain it.

I want to experience those two greatest tragedies, because it's the only way you'll know you've really lived. Whitey Durham's to do list consisted of this:

Coach basketball for 20 years
Win 500 games
Make a difference.

That's what I want out of life, to know that I've made a difference, however small & insignificant. Things like good grades, important social stature, friends & having a social life, I know, at the end of the day will prevail. But I thank God for placing that still small voice in my heart that every now& then, will yearn for something beyond the physical needs of man, beyond what is physically pleasing to the eye.

The greatest pleasure you will ever know, is knowing that your existence has made a difference in someone else's life.

When spring comes and everything is reborned, so will I. I will strive to be a better friend, a better daughter, a better sister, a better child of God. I will live for the things that matter most; I will reach for the things that will help me make a difference.

No more settling, change is coming.