The Search for something More

we believe for, even greater
we believe for more

Since spring is near, I figured the old space could be spruced and swapped for a different look-a 'spring cleaning' if you will :) besides, sometimes I reckon fresh ideas and inspiration unwraps itself along with the presence of something new.

It's struck me recently how easy it is to get swept up in the tornado of events, serving, socializing, friends & family encircling you on a regular basis. How easy it is to get lost within that vortex of pandemonium that you suddenly find yourself losing focus & perspective.

Sometimes I find that I lose myself along the way too.

Then all of a sudden when the storm calms, and the disarrays settles, you're left with all these different sorts of fragments of a puzzle which you're frantically struggling to piece back together-hoping that in some way you could find the person you once were, and find your way back.

It's tiring though. & it's experiencing that isolated silent grief of losing yourself when you realize that, it's things like these that really rob you from claiming joy, peace & rest. and i never doubted for a second that this was not at all how You intended it to be.

Life-as challenging, difficult & bittersweet as it is- I still believe is worth striving through the pain, confusion & hurt; because knowing that you're actually here for a purpose, somehow protects the fire that's burning somewhere inside.

The hope, & the knowledge, that I'm here to make a difference.

Locked hearts & hand grenades

only You can make me whole
give me strength to make me grow

I sometimes wonder about those moments- life in all it's busyness, chaotic-frustration and disappointments that snares itself so frighteningly comfortable around us it becomes a second layer of who we are.

I wonder about those moments-you know, the one's where you're desperately scrolling through your itunes to find a song loud enough to drown the emptiness swelling within you. or sometimes how quietness is so loud i can feel it reverberating from my core.

That moment when I actually did step out for a run (okay fine, brisk walk/jog at best from my absolute fail lack-of-stamina) and my feet were pounding pavement, it felt exhilarating; somewhat akin to escapism though I know its naive to think i can literally 'run' from my troubles. nevertheless, it was my moment (to escape)-to feel that even if it was for only a minute, i could just run as fast and as hard as my feet would carry me.

and in that one minute, i could feel nothing, and everything at once.

beautiful :)

I wonder if i'm the only one who remembers moments like these, & then muse about them in retrospect haha :)

I'm thankful for a lot of things really. just recently i met a girl called Zina (okay this might be somewhat inaccurate) in one of my lectures. a vibrant and colorful character that totally made me smile :) and that's why i thank You for these random little blessings-because You know how they absolutely make my day.